House of Kidnap/House of Cat-nap
In the beginning of last night's episode, a black cat shows up, apparently one the "Saboona"-ites found in the basement. (I never mentioned that did I? They have a seriously messed up "secret handshake" that involves them covering one eye with their hand, then saying "Saboona". Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds).
Patricia is, at this point, trying to get the necklace from Nina, though now she begins using tactics other than force. Despite her obvious lying, Nina plays along with the idea that the necklace might be worth something, and eventually agrees to meet her "antique dealer" friend. However, she's obviously not an idiot; she leaves the necklace with Fabian, who is adorably pleased to be entrusted with its care.
Meanwhile, Amber plays sick to stay home and nurse the cat. Trudy proves herself to be utterly clueless, but oh well, anything to make this plot work. Unfortunately, Amber falls asleep and the cat gets out (the door having opened unaccountably on its own). Patricia and Nina meet at the agreed upon spot, and see Victor loading the "Private Investigator" into his van. Afterwards, back at the house, the fab foursome (Patricia has, of course, been brought into the pack) discuss what Victor is up to, apparently never having learned the meaning of the word stealth. Predictably, Victor shows up to utter his signature line: "I want to hear a pin drop."
The next day in science, Amber proves that she is my new hero by stating flat out in science that she think experimentation on animals, especially cats, is cruel (side note: the floor in their science glass room is a legit green color, WTF?). This is followed later on in the episode by her suggesting that the class's English play be about a little girl whose archaeologist parents die in a mysterious accident and who is then sent to live with some creepy guardian, and with the help of some kids from the future, finds a hidden treasure - aka the story of the creepy little girl on the recording/this entire TV show. Amber is a secret genius, y'all.
Anyway though, the fab foursome find out the cat has been stuffed, they talk to Trudy, attempt to convince that shit is going down, blah blah blah. She agrees to talk to Victor with them.
I have written in my notes for this episode, "I LOVE FABIAN FOR HIS METHODICAL GENIUS" but I can't remember what that has to do with anything anymore. In any case, this is the point when Amber proposes the idea for English, I assume, becau
se the next comment on my list is: "Pink and purple sweater? English teacher is gay."
This is then followed by: "I give up on this show."
And then I went to babysit and missed the last ten minutes.
(I do remember saying to my sister, "They're all idiots. If I were them, I would have brought the dead cat with me up from the cellar, because seriously, he is going to move that shit what with all the not-so-subtle hints they've been dropping that they're on to him." Guess what? I was right. HA SUCKAHS.)
House of Cameras/House of Numbers
Trudy is now fired, security cameras are being installed. That's the start of the episode.
Then, for some reason, we jump to Mick learning he can, essentially, major in sports. Ho-kay. Mara and Mick end up in some sort of showdown over who knows more about sports, which Mara wins. Mick is super mean about it, we get some backstory on Mara, Mick apologizes, Mara....offers to arrange his training schedule. God I DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THIS. Also, has anyone else noticed that every single issue in this series is resolved within each episode?
The fab foursome have a pow-wow, which leads to Nina saying the most self-aware thing I've ever heard: "It's like we're on some bad reality show." Anyway, the pow-wow decide they must do something, so they stage a protest by....standing in front of the cameras all day. Yeah, you're a bunch of idiots.
Nina makes a discovery that ten minutes on a computer with Internet access could have told anyone: apparently, two people from the expedition that found King Tut's tomb are from the area, and were later put on trial for stealing stuff, though the were acquitted.
As the house struggles to do all of the tasks that Trudy used to do, they are...horrible. Honestly, you can't figure out how to make toast and oatmeal? What kind of failures are you?
This leads them to decide that they must get Trudy back and get rid of the cameras. Wait, didn't we already decide this earlier?Victor threatens to get them expelled. Welcome to the Wow, Did Not Think Through committee! Members: all of you. They are EXTREME failures.
Everyone bails except Nina, Patricia, and Fabian. Oh just leave you freaks. Find some other way!
Meanwhile, Mick's dad comes to the school to confront Mick about deciding to pursue a degree in Sports instead of becoming a doctor. This is when Mara's epic moment of glory comes (oh, Mick's so going to end up with her by the end of this, FOR SURE), as she convinces Mick's dad to let him pursue a degree in Sports (he's not actually pursuing a degree in Sports, to anyone who's wondering; he wants to go to some camp in California over the summer. Whatever. Similar concepts.)
This is when Amber once again proves she is the best character in this thing. She sees Mick's dad, and immediately latches on to him and tells him how her life has been hard lately, and that they should go get coffee and talk about it. It is then revealed (after some needless drama) that Amber told Mick's dad about the firing of Trudy and the cameras, thus getting him to complain and scaring the principal into reversing both of those decisions. I told you Amber is the smartest of them all.
Nina and Fabian, using distractionary techniques, find the next clue, which is something about being beleathered and beclasped, and also about how this is the "only place where yesterday is after tomorrow." Honestly. It's a dictinary, you idiots! (Dear lord, help us. They could use the Internet to figure out the answer, this is the oldest riddle there is.)
Blah blah blah ends with them finding an old photo of Victor, he looks the same as he does now, but it was taken in...wait for it...1925! DUN DUN DUN.
(WHY DO I WATCH THIS SHOW??)
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