Swimming will start in one and a half weeks, and once it begins it, along with a college English class and Advanced Topics math (which is like AP Calculus BC/Calculus HL), will eat my life. So, in my quest to make life slightly less stressful for myself this fall, I am trying to get a jumpstarton the college essay.
It should come as a surprise to no one that I have no idea what to write about; I am an extremely indecisive person. Until a deadline comes and I am forced to make a decision, I will go back and forth on an issue, questioning my own judgment countless times. Thus far, the college tours/search has been fairly easy; if I don't visit a college, that doesn't mean I can't apply, and it's actually been helping me eliminate colleges, as well as forced me to think a little more about what I actually want in a college (one word: bustle).
Now the application process is starting, and I'm freaking out a little. To begin with, there's the issue of what exactly I want to major in; engineering is one possibility, but so's math, with something to do with environmental issues trailing third. I have no idea what engineering would actually entail, and my main interest in it stems from my father. Meanwhile, I know I love math (like, actually, legitimately love it) but what exactly can you even do with a math major? Teach, I suppose, and I guess I am good at explaining things to people...but then again, I really don't think teaching is something I would enjoy to do for a career. Accountant or actuary are the other jobs I've heard suggested and, well, those don't sound all that much fun either.Now, I've been telling myself that it's no big deal, it really doesn't matter, except recently, I realized it does kind of matter a little. Because, for example, University of Chicago has an extremely strong math program, but absolutely no engineering majors. So if I do decide I want to be an engineer, well, I'm screwed, but then again I'm not so sold on it that I'm sure if I'm willing to completely eliminate Chicago from my list - because, to be perfectly honest, U of C people sounds kind of maybe sorta like my type of people. And Columbia, which is in fucking New York City, and therefore amazing, has a separate School of Engineering that I would have to apply to - and which requires a math/physics or chemistry subject SAT test, which would mean I'd have to retest the math (not a bad score, but I can do better) and take the physics - which will suck, because that means relearning physics, which I mildly dislike. So do I take those extra test
s, or just say screw it, I'm applying to the normal school - where I could major in math if I wanted. Or anything that's not engineering.
So there're my dilemmas. Which pale in comparison to the stumper of what to even write on my stupid essay. They keep saying it's a chance to tell them a little more about myself, and at every admissions session they talked about how you should write about something you're passionate about. In addition, it has to be something only I could write - that's another thing that keeps being brought up, how it has to have some sort of youness, that makes it unique and different. So what am I supposed to write about?? There's about a billion things which, in combination, make me me, but no singular one defining thing I could talk about in an essay. And I'm pretty sure the whole "list details about yourself, starting vague and then becoming more and more detailed" thing has already been done, otherwise I would do it in a heartbeat. It also doesn't help that I am battling the desire to write about camp at every chance I possibly get, because I actually have no idea how to tie that into a college essay without it sounding cheesy and cliched and stupid and it also isn't really that big a part of who I am that I can justify writing about it, but I am also so so so so so campsick that it's hard not to talk about it all the time and to not constantly check the time and figure out what they're doing at camp right at this very second (5:40 Eastern, Fun Swim is going on, I would be either showering or chilling in the PO, or maybe subbing for someone who I switched with because we have our night out) and UGH.
I want to be at camp so bad right now.
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